The One with the Fat Suit
by willian
Summary: Doesn’t Chandler want to be associated with the fat Monica? Major Mondler!
1. Chapter 1

It was a typical bustling lunchtime in New York. Chandler and Ross were sitting on the familiar orange couch at Central Perk waiting for Monica and Rachel. The ladies were out shopping for dresses for Chandler and Ross' college class reunion that the four of them would all be attending later that night.

It had been a year since Chandler and Monica moved to Westchester. Since then it was pretty seldom that they all hang around together the way they do in the old times.

Ross was on the phone muttering sweet nothings to Emma, "Goodbye little angel, don't give Grandma Judy and Grandpa Jack a hard time. Behave yourself little sweetie."

"Dude, you reminded her to behave herself for the thirty-seventh time. Emma's got the message," said Chandler impatiently. "Now let me talk to the twins," he said snatching the phone from Ross' hand. "Hey Emma, this is Uncle Chandler, could you give the phone to your cousins? Thanks sweetie."

"I was having a quality conversation with my daughter," Ross grunted.

"Hey Jack and Erica, I know you missed Dad's voice," spoke Chandler on the phone, ignoring the unpleasant look that Ross was throwing at him. "So here it is," he cleared his throat and began singing in a babyish voice, "_I'm a little tea pot short and stout._"

"Do you have to do that here?" Ross said rolling his eyes.

"Admit it Ross, you're just jealous because kids don't dig your singing," Chandler snorted and resumed singing, "_Here is my handle here is my spout When I get all steamed up hear me shout._" Chandler beamed turning to Ross, "Jack and Erica are totally laughing, they just love it when I sing. See?" He momentarily placed the phone on Ross' ear to make him hear the kids' laughter.

"Hey I can do that too, I can entertain my niece and nephew with my singing," said Ross grabbing the phone from Chandler. "_Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water_" sang Ross in a childish voice too.

"Give it up Ross," said Chandler trying to grab the phone back from his friend. "I've been singing to them everyday. They're so delightfully familiar with my voice. They want nothing else."

Ross held the phone tighter and started to sing louder,_ "Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!"_

Chandler moved closer to the phone in competition with Ross and began to sing noisily as well, _"Hear me shout! tip me over and pour me out!"_

"Don't tell me you two are practicing that for tonight's reunion," somebody snorted from behind. Both Ross and Chandler stopped singing and turned to see who it was.

It was Eric Siegfried, a classmate of theirs back in College who everyone most probably remembers as the meanest kid.

Chandler and Ross both turned the brightest shade of red.

"Hey Jack and Erica, Uncle Ross have to go now. Bye," Ross said silently hanging up the phone.

"Don't tell me you two still have that band," Eric sneered, making an air-quote at the word band. "Do you remember that time you performed and only your mother came to see it?" Eric burst out laughing mockingly. "And you both thought that's the best way to attract girls, not with those hair!" he added shaking his head.

"So are you taking her tonight to the reunion?" Chandler said eyeing the beautiful woman with Eric and determinedly trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, this is Annie. She'll be my date for tonight," Eric said airily. "I supposed you two are going together?" Eric asked before either Chandler or Ross could say a word to Annie. "No dates huh? I see not much had changed since College."

"That's where you're wrong," said Ross, glad to have something to throw at Eric's face. "You see Chandler and I are both happily taken. I'm with this gorgeous woman Rachel. As a matter of fact we have a daughter."

"And I happen to be married to her sister Monica," Chandler threw in proudly. "She's hot."

"They're just out shopping," Ross said. "They could be here any minute."

"Are you sure you two are talking about real women here?" Eric said skeptically.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Chandler asked indignantly.

"Well I just remembered how you guys used to have those imaginary girlfriends back in college," Eric taunted.

"Look, we are taking our lovely ladies to the reunion tonight," Chandler said. "You'll see for yourself."

"If you say so," Eric said clearly unconvinced.

"Here, let me show you a preview," Ross said taking a picture of him with Rachel and Emma from his wallet.

"Wow…," murmered Eric upon seeing Rachel in the photograph. "I must say I am surprised. How did you possibly end up with a gorgeous woman?"

"I guess I've come a long way since college," Ross said trying to sound casual.

"I think it has something to do about ditching the bad afro," commented Eric. "How about you Chandler? Can I have a sneak peak of the hot woman you claimed to be your wife?

"Sure," Ross answered for Chandler. "I also keep a picture of my sister here."

Ross pulled a picture from his wallet. He was about to hand it over to Eric when Chandler saw what picture it was.

It was a picture of Monica back in high school when she was all heavy and fat.

Chandler hastily snatched the picture, crumpled it and slipped it into his jeans' right pocket.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Ross demanded questioningly to Chandler.

"Well I just realize that I don't want to give Eric any sort of spoiler," Chandler said thinking of an excuse. "I want him to be all surprised when he sees how hot my wife is later tonight. I want to catch how his jaw would drop when he sees Monica walking with me arm in arm."

"Yeah right, that would happen," Eric said sarcastically. "Well we got to go now. I still have to decide which Armani suit would I be wearing tonight."

"I hate that guy!" Both Chandler and Ross blurted after Eric was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"Look Ross," started Chandler. "I know how mad you are about Paleontology but do you have to keep an ancient picture of Monica? Don't you have a newer picture of her? One that's not taken when she was in high school and---fat?"

Just then Monica and Rachel untimely entered the café.

"Oh I see what's going on here," said Ross knowingly. "You don't want Eric to see that picture because you're embarrassed by how Monica used to look. You are ashamed of her being a _fatso_ in the past. That's a part of her Chandler!" Ross pointed out heatedly. "When you married my sister you promised to take all of her and that includes her past obesity!"

Chandler motioned for Ross to stop talking but the later kept on blabbing unaware of Monica glaring dangerously from behind.

"That is totally unfair man!" Ross continued. "I mean I would never ever be ashamed of Rachel, her then large nose would never be an issue with me. She'll always be beautiful to me no matter what. What are gonna do Chandler? Crumple every picture of Monica where she's all fat just like what you did to that one in your pocket?"

"He did what?" Monica exclaimed.

"Oh hi honey, how was the shopping?" asked Chandler foolishly.

Monica angrily went over to Chandler, felt his pockets and pulled out her crumpled picture.

"I can't believe you would do this!" cried out Monica. "I know I was fat in this photo but that doesn't give you the right to just trash it! I mean I would never do this to any of your pictures even those where you look like a drowning moron."

"No honey you don't understand…"

"No I totally get it" Monica snapped. "Ross is right. You're ashamed of how big I used to be. What if I get fat again? What are you gonna do? File for a divorce?"

"Look Monica you got this all wrong," Chandler tried explaining but Monica headed for the door. "Hey honey where are you going?" he called out.

"To the gym," Monica answered crossly. "I'm afraid I have to lose a few pounds more or you'll be too embarrassed to take me to your reunion! Come on Rachel let's go!"

Rachel didn't appear to have heard Monica as she was quite busy snuggling with Ross.

"Hey I heard what you said to Chandler" she said putting her arms affectionately around Ross. "About how you don't care how big my nose used to be. That is so sweet."

"Rachel!" shouted Monica.

Rachel gave Ross a quick kiss and followed Monica outside.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really sorry for the updating hiatus. My PC crashed.**

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"Oh great Ross," Chandler said giving Ross a nasty look. "You totally messed it up for me."

"Well you deserve it," snapped Ross. "You shallow jerk."

"Dude listen to me,'' Chandler pleaded. "I didn't crumple that picture because I was ashamed of how Monica used to look; I was just trying to protect her. Do you remember who Sick Eric's best friend was?"

"Bully Billy Smith," answered Ross offhandedly.

"Yeah that's right. It was Bully Billy," said Chandler. "And do you remember what was Bully Billy's specialization?"

"_Fatsos_," Ross recalled. "Oh yeah, I remember how he used to pick on _Large Marge, Fatty Marie, Obese Clarisse, _and what was that guy's name?"

"_Stout McDoubt_," answered Chandler. "So now do you see my point? Sick Eric without a doubt wouldn't waste time telling Bully Billy how big Monica used to be. Do you want Bully Billy picking on your sister all night? Huh? What kind of brother are you?"

"But Monica's all thin now," Ross argued.

"Look Ross, you're forgetting something here. That Bully Billy doesn't forgive. Do you remember how Fatty Marie turned into Skinny Marie in our senior year and he still wouldn't quit bullying her?"

"Oh yeah I remember now," Ross said. "He would place a tape on Skinny Marie's mouth saying it would prevent her from deflating more."

"Well do you want that to happen to Monica later tonight?" asked Chandler.

"No," Ross replied silently.

"Now Monica's all mad at me," Chandler grunted. "She thinks I'm still that shallow college guy who has something against being fat."

"I'm sorry," Ross apologized. "If there's anything I can do to make it up to you man…"

"Too late Ross…or maybe there is," Chandler took back what he had just said as an idea started forming on his head. "I want you to take Monica with you and Rachel tonight. I'll just meet you all there at the reunion. I might be arriving a little late," Chandler said hastily getting up.

He was out of the door before Ross could ask anything about his plan.


	4. Chapter 4

"I knew it! Chandler isn't showing up!" Monica cried out.

It had been twenty-five minutes since they arrived at the reunion and Chandler was still nowhere in sight.

"Tell me the truth Rachel, am I starting to gain weight again?"

"No honey you look perfectly slim," Rachel reassured.

"Then what is it?!" Monica asked vehemently. "Does it mean all through out these years Chandler has something against how fat I once was?"

"Keep quiet Monica," Ross hissed. "Bully Billy might hear you."

"Who the hell is Bull Billy?"

"The guy Chandler was trying to protect you from," said Ross. "Bully Billy's only aspiration in life is to make fatsos miserable. And it won't matter to him that you're all thin now. You see his slogan is _once a fatso always a fatso_. Here he comes now, hi Bully I mean Billy," Ross greeted giving a phony smile. "Here's my special someone Rachel and my sister Monica who also happens to be Chandler's wife."

"Wow," Billy muttered gazing at the ladies. "So it's true then what you said to Eric. You guys did somehow end up with lovely ladies. Unbelievable!"

"Well what can I say," Ross said airily. "Rachel couldn't resist my charm."

"Actually his so-called-charm took like ten years before it finally worked on me," Rachel said. "He's been obsessing with me since the ninth grade."

"So where's Eric anyway?" asked Ross before Rachel could say more.

"Well he still hasn't made up his mind about which Armani suit to wear," Billy replied. "What about Chandler? Is he coming?"

"Yeah he just hasn't made up his mind about which joke to tell," Ross said.

"Well I suppose I could use some of his jokes here, this reunion's getting boring. There are no fat people to keep me entertained," Billy said in disappointment. "I even brought this shaving cream and air pump with me."

"What's exactly you're idea of entertainment?" asked Monica. "Shaving people then handing them out balloons?"

"I was planning on putting the shaving cream on Obese Clarisse, Large Marge, and Stout McDoubt's dessert and I bet they wouldn't even know the difference. You see I have this hypothesis that fatsos would just munch on anything. Greedy pigs! And as for the air pump, it's to restore Skinny Marie into Fatty Marie."

Monica could only clench her teeth as she watched Billy laughed viciously.

"Well I think I know why those people didn't show up here tonight," Rachel said.

"Anyway, I'll go check the other room. Who knows there might be a Fat Matt in there," Billy said turning to leave.

"So Chandler was just trying to protect me from that jerk," Monica blurted after Billy was gone.

"Yup," nodded Ross.

"And I got all angry at him. Now I feel so awful," Monica said dejectedly.

"Hey looks like Bully Billy need not go to the other room for a fat prospect," Rachel said.

"Not exactly a great way way to console me Rachel," Monica said crossly.

"Oh honey I didn't mean you. I meant him," said Rachel pointing at the door.

And true enough, a fat man was there entering the reunion hall. But it wasn't just a fat man. It was Chandler in a fat suit.


	5. Chapter 5

"Awww," Monica murmured holding her heart. "Chandler took the trouble of wearing a fat suit to prove he's got nothing against being overweight. That is so sweet."

"And awfully brave too," Rachel added. "He knows he'll be an easy prey to Bully Billy. Hey Ross, would you wear an artificial large nose for me?"

"Uhm Monica you have to go save Chandler before Bully Billy sees him," Ross said determinedly avoiding answering Rachel's question.

"Oh yeah," Monica stood up but she was too late as Billy was already talking to Chandler.

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"Oh hello there Chandler," greeted Billy in a falsely friendly voice.

"Hi Billy," Chandler said uneasily. "I see my wife and friends are waiting for me over there, if you'll excuse me."

Chandler tried to walk away but Billy wouldn't let him off the hook that easily.

"Hey Chandler, what's the big rush? Are you afraid I might pull a trick on you or something just because you gained a couple of pounds?" Billy asked pretending to be hurt. "I know I did a lot of mean things to fat people back then but that's all behind me now. I'm a changed man."

"You are?" asked Chandler skeptically.

"Don't you think you're being quite unfair here? You're stereotyping me with how I used to be in College," Billy said convincingly. "I mean I for instance look at you now and I no longer see the funny haired boy belting out that emotional knapsack song."

"Well I suppose I could give you the benefit of the doubt," Chandler said. "So what are you up to lately?"

"I now run my own Bakery," lied Billy. "I'm a head baker."

"Really? Well my wife also happens to be a wiz in the kitchen," Chandler said proudly. "She's actually the head chef at Alesandros.

"Are you kidding me? I love that place!" Billy exclaimed. "Do you think you can introduce my cakes to your wife? They might be needing a supplier there. Here, why don't you try one," Billy said handing Chandler a blueberry cheesecake topped with shaving cream.

"Thanks, I'm kind of starving."

"No!" Monica shrieked as she watched Chandler took a bite of the cake.

Chandler was close to throwing up as he tasted the foul flavor of the cake.

"Sucker!" Billy shouted and started laughing wickedly. "Ladies and gentlemen it's _Chandler Big_!"

Chandler couldn't take it any longer. He hurriedly turned away to leave the hall to spare himself from some more humiliation and to spit out the _shaving cream cake_.

"That's it! That Bully Billy had totally crossed the line!" Monica furiously walked over to meet head-on with Billy. "That Bully Billy will finally meet his match!"


	6. Chapter 6

"What the hell is your problem Bully Billy?" demanded Monica.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Billy sarcastically. "It's the wife to the rescue!"

"What is it you got against fat people?" asked Monica furiously.

"I just really happen to hate the likes of your husband or should I say your chubby hubby." With that Billy started laughing cruelly.

"Oh you're laughing now but guess what Bully Billy," snorted Monica, "The joke's on you! The truth is Chandler isn't really fat, he's just wearing a fat suit. Look who's the sucker now!" This time it was Monica's turn to laugh sardonically.

"What?"

"That's right, Chandler isn't fat," repeated Ross. "You can go ask your friend sick Eric. You know we ran into him earlier today right? Don't you think he would have told you instantly about Chandler's weight if he saw him looking that fat?"

"But why would Chandler wear a fat suit?" asked Billy.

"To prove that he's totally okay with how I used to look," answered Monica bravely. "That's right Bully Billy, I used to be _Monicow_."

"Oh looks like I could use the air-pump after all…" said Billy looking rather fondly at Monica. "Or maybe I won't, I can't explain it but I sort of have this soft spot for you babe."

Something suddenly flickered in Monica's memory.

"Hey I think I remember you!" she cried out. "You were that jerk who tried hitting on me one time Rachel and I visited Ross during his sophomore year."

"Yeah that was him," agreed Rachel looking closely at Billy. "He tried hitting on you while his friend tried pulling his old charm on me and we both rejected them."

"But you can't be Eric's first love," said Billy looking at Rachel. "That girl has a horribly large nose."

"Hey!" protested Rachel.

"Oh I see what's going on here," said Monica glaring at Billy. "You couldn't accept the fact that a fat girl rejected you that's why you take it out on anyone who happens or happened to be fat. For goodness' sake that was ages ago! Move on! Get a life you dweeb!"

"I cannot believe this," said Billy totally shaken. "After all these years of making _fatsos _miserable to get over you, here you are, and you still have the power to break my heart." With that Billy turned away to leave crying like a little child.

And then one by one, Billy's former preys; Marie, Clarisse, Marge, and McDoubt went out of their hiding place. All of them were clapping for what Monica did. Soon enough the entire room erupted into an applause.

"You made Bully Billy cry, you're a legend!" exclaimed Marge.

"You're now officially our heroine!" said Marie.

"Well I just did what I have to do," said Monica positively flattered. "We have a common _fatcor_ after all."

"Hey Mon, that fat suit Chandler was wearing is so you while that joke you just told is so Chandler," observed Rachel.

"Hey Rach I have an idea," said Ross animatedly. "I would wear a large nose and you in turn would wear a dinosaur suit. How about that?"

This time it was Rachel's turn to avoid answering instead she turned to Monica and said, "Don't you ought to find Chandler now?"

"Oh yeah, how could I forget about him." Monica turned to Billy's former victims and said, "As much as I enjoy being on a pedestal I would have to admit that I don't deserve all this credit because really, my husband Chandler is the hero here."

And with that, Monica went off to find the hero.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the last chapter : ) thanks to everyone who took time to read this story.**

**CB & MG 4ever!**

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"Chandler! Chandler!" called out Monica.

She was out in the parking lot trying to find her husband. At last, she saw him hiding behind one of the cars.

"Hey you can go out now," said Monica reassuringly. "I've already taken care of Bully Billy or should I say Crybaby Billy."

"You made him cry?" asked Chandler in disbelief.

"Yup, I made him runaway crying like a helpless little boy."

"How?"

"I broke his heart," said Monica plaintively sitting beside Chandler. "Apparently he's been obsessing with me for the last fourteen years. Turns out he was that jerk who tried hitting on me one time I visited Ross in College. I rejected him so then he took it out on anyone who happens or happened to be fat."

"Well now I kind of understand Bully Billy," muttered Chandler.

"What?"

"Not his bullying fat people of course," explained Chandler. "I mean I could understand his obsession for you. You're a real catch you know."

Monica flushed pink with pleasure.

"Actually you're the real catch," she said reciprocating the compliment. "I mean how many guys would go through the trouble of wearing a fat suit to prove their love. By the way I'm really sorry for doubting your intentions earlier."

"Oh honey don't worry about that. You are totally forgiven." said Chandler moving closer to give Monica a kiss. "And besides you've already taken care of that. You made Bully Billy cry."

"You know what? This reminds me of my high school homecoming dance," shared Monica. "You see I was thrown out of the dance floor because they said that I was taking up too much space and so like you I went hiding in the parking lot. I was wishing for some guy to go run after me and ask me to go back and dance with him. But it never happened. I spent all night waiting in the parking lot but no one came for me. What I'm saying is, I won't let that happen to you. Chandler, would you go back inside and dance with me?"

"I would love to," said Chandler getting up and taking Monica's hand.

The two had taken a couple of steps back to the reunion hall when Monica suddenly stopped in her tracks.

"You know what? We don't need to go back inside," she said. "We can just go and dance right here."

"Yeah, that would be a good idea," agreed Chandler. "Since I'm wearing this fat suit I'll be taking up too much space in the dance floor. Let's just give the space to two thin couples."

And so Chandler and Monica started dancing right in the middle of the parking lot, oblivious to everything but to each other.

Monica snuggled herself closer to Chandler feeling the softness of the fat suit he was wearing. It was so wonderfully comforting.


End file.
